Tuesday, December 4, 2012

'Home' For The Holidays

Good Afternoon. It is unseasonable mild out there today, which makes it very hard to believe that Christmas is officially three weeks from today. I find even saying the word 'Christmas' leaves me feeling dizzy and weird. Where have the months gone? September, October and November flew by and I often find myself not only wondering what day of the month it is, but what month it is altogether. Good thing I take lots of pictures...

Don't get me wrong though... my sisters and I love love love the Holiday Season. We bake too much, sing Christmas Carols too loud (we know every song almost off by heart.. no big deal), we wrap gifts until our fingers hurt and we try our absolute best to be our jollyest (I know that's not a word). This year, however, we are finding it a little hard to get into the spirit. We have baked, sang, and wrapped... but something is missing and it doesn't take a psychiatrist to figure out what that 'something(s)' is. What's missing is our parents. We can bake every cookie in the cookbook, sing every song, buy every gift... but the Holidays are about being with your family and, right now, our family is not complete. There is a big hole in our family, and that hole is 320 Miles wide. 

I miss my Mom and Dad every single day. We are so used to being together, that being apart leaves me feeling incomplete. For anyone who has ever had a sick family member, you know that it is life changing and to say that it is always on your mind is an understatement. You live it. You go to bed at night and wake up in the morning feeling it. You laugh and smile as always, but it just isn't the same. For my family, this has become our reality. But becoming a reality doesn't make it any easier. In fact, the longer this goes on... the harder it seems to get. However, Mama doesn't want us to feel this way. I know she wants us to be happy, and strong, which is sometimes easier said than done. We try our best though. We have our bad days, but we try to have mostly good ones. We try to support each other, be there for each other and show each other the strength our mother has instilled in us. She wouldn't want us to feel sorry for ourselves, but would want us to be the best and do the best we can given our situation. 

So, enough for feeling sorry for myself because we are lucky enough to be able to go down to visit my parents for a couple weeks over the Holidays. For the first time in months, we will be together as a family. We will be able to laugh together, smile together, and be a family. I cannot wait to see my Mom and I am sure she can't wait to see her girls (including a 6 month pregnant T). What makes it even more special, is that we will finally be reunited with our fourth sister K and B's Mom and Dad. I cannot wait to see them, as it has been way too long. There will be hugs, lots of wine, and maybe some dancing in our jingle jammies. Just thinking about it warms my heart. 

I am looking forward to us all being together, and trying my best to stay positive until then. I will continue to find the strength I know I have and make the best of the time we have together. The Holidays will be here before we know it, so we must bake, sing and wrap until then. Wishing you all a very happy three weeks until Christmas. And, in case you forgot, here is D and my Christmas Guidelines from last year. 

And, in case this post led you to forget about our usual Christmas Cheer. You can read about it here, here, here and even here.

Lots of Holiday Love,