Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Starting over.

OK, so admittedly, my sisters and I haven't done a great job at keeping this alive. I suppose life has gotten in the way a bit. A baby and new house for T, a new condo and busy working life for S. As for myself, the eldest of the three, I wish I had more exciting news to share. Instead, I have an encyclopedia-long list of "is this my life?" moments and tales to tell. So instead of keeping them to myself (as any normal, self respecting person would do,) I have decided to share...

Where do I start? The engagement I called off? The house I had to sell? The job I love but am not guaranteed of getting again? Or my broken heart?

I am a 32 year old woman. I have had a fair number of long term relationships and wonderful men in my life. And most recently, heartbreak. I suppose it's normal to feel as though your world has been turned upside down when someone you care about so much turns and walks out of your life. I won't be that girl who goes and gets some crazy "I am strong!" tattoo (an anchor, a flying bird etc,) cut off all my hair or pack up and move to a new city. Nope. Instead, I have succumb to the *friendly* bullying of my friends and family (yes, my mother is on board) and have signed up for online dating (WHAT!?!?!) Yup, I have made a deal with myself: since what I've done my whole life hasn't seemed to have worked for me, I will now do at least ONE thing a day that scares me- two days ago, that was signing up for Plenty of Fish and (depending who I speak to, some say the "pay" sites are better, others believe in full access.)

 For those of you who have never ventured into the land of online dating, wow (!) it's a crazy place!
In order to manage my existence out there, my dear friend LP has laid out guidelines for my success:

1) Be "light"
This came about after the first few messages I received and felt AWFUL because most of the guys who had written were... not my type. OK, they were not attractive to me. This left me feeling bad and asking myself if I am cut out for this game. LP explained that I have to be ok with saying "no" to people and although I don't have to be mean (obviously) I also don't have to spend so much time considering how they'll feel if I don't answer. *Light*

2) It's ok if a guy asks to hold my hand.
I don't mean this literally but rather that it's ok to take chances and perhaps allow for things I am not use to. This rule comes about after a friend almost refused a 2nd date with a guy because he was "too nice." Long story short, she agreed and I am fairly certain they will end up married and having their "happily ever after."

3) Date, date, date.
I have never been on a date. This is no lie. Of course I have been taken out but always by my existing boyfriend. How, you ask did I get said boyfriend if I have never been on a date? Simple. I have ALWAYS dated friends. There is not a single guy I have dated who wasn't my friend for at least the period of a year before we began dating- it always kind of, just happened. So although I am wary of my ability to meet and "fall" for someone in the dating scene (online dating nonetheless!) I have made a deal that I WILL DATE.

So there you have it. This is where my 32 years of existence has brought me. It's OK though. Don't go feeling sad for me! Instead, you can check in every once in a while and perhaps follow me on my adventures online dating (I'm like the new Alice in Wonderland!)

Here we go!!!