Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ho Ho Holy Innapropriate

*WARNING: Mature Content*


Morning all- so despite the fact that it is another 12 degrees outside, the holidays are swiftly approaching!!! In the spirit of the times, I added to my mini-tree decor and routed through all of my Christmas paraphenilia this weekend and came across a lovely gift that was given to me last year, curtosy of my dear coworkers...

Background: As those of you who read my "Holiday Ready Already?" post, I have awkward feelings towards the holiday tune "Baby, it's cold outside"           Exhibit A: "say what's in this drink (no cabs to be had out there)"               roofies anyone?!?!?

Actually, forget the examples, the entire song is a tale of a young woman trying to find excuse after excuse to escape this man who is using every reason under the sun to keep her in his living room- odd... especially for the holiday season!?!?!

After explaining my feelings to 3 of my coworkers- I recieved the following, framed & festively decorated:

"K's Guide to Christmas Carols"

Song: Frosty the Snowman  
Analysis: Song about pedophilia & pushing drugs

Song: White Christmas

Analysis: Cocaine Use


Song: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Analysis: Alcoholism


Song: Run run Rudolph

Analysis: Stealing


Song: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Analysis: Feminism


Song: Santa Claus is coming to town

Analysis: Stalking- he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake


Song: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

Analysis: Adultery


Song: Grandma got run over by a reindeer

Analysis: Drunk driving, hit & run


Song: Here comes Santa Claus

Analysis: He he he he he


Song: Jingle Bells

Analysis: Enough said!!!


Song: O Christmas Tree

Analysis: Sexual harassment


Song: Little Drummer Boy

Analysis: Masturbation


Song: Baby, its cold outside

Analysis: After a FULL examination of this song, it has been decided that there are no questionable lyrics…


Quite frankly... I think THEY are nuts... but I love 'em :)

Happy Tuesday everyone