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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ho Ho Holy Innapropriate

*WARNING: Mature Content*


 


Morning all- so despite the fact that it is another 12 degrees outside, the holidays are swiftly approaching!!! In the spirit of the times, I added to my mini-tree decor and routed through all of my Christmas paraphenilia this weekend and came across a lovely gift that was given to me last year, curtosy of my dear coworkers...

Background: As those of you who read my "Holiday Ready Already?" post, I have awkward feelings towards the holiday tune "Baby, it's cold outside"           Exhibit A: "say what's in this drink (no cabs to be had out there)"               roofies anyone?!?!?

Actually, forget the examples, the entire song is a tale of a young woman trying to find excuse after excuse to escape this man who is using every reason under the sun to keep her in his living room- odd... especially for the holiday season!?!?!

After explaining my feelings to 3 of my coworkers- I recieved the following, framed & festively decorated:

"K's Guide to Christmas Carols"


Song: Frosty the Snowman  
Analysis: Song about pedophilia & pushing drugs


Song: White Christmas


Analysis: Cocaine Use


 


Song: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer


Analysis: Alcoholism


 


Song: Run run Rudolph


Analysis: Stealing


 


Song: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire


Analysis: Feminism


 


Song: Santa Claus is coming to town


Analysis: Stalking- he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake


 


Song: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus


Analysis: Adultery


 


Song: Grandma got run over by a reindeer


Analysis: Drunk driving, hit & run


 


Song: Here comes Santa Claus


Analysis: He he he he he


 


Song: Jingle Bells


Analysis: Enough said!!!


 


Song: O Christmas Tree


Analysis: Sexual harassment


 


Song: Little Drummer Boy


Analysis: Masturbation


 


Song: Baby, its cold outside


Analysis: After a FULL examination of this song, it has been decided that there are no questionable lyrics…


 


Quite frankly... I think THEY are nuts... but I love 'em :)


Happy Tuesday everyone